Saturday 15th January

NOTE TO SELF: No more Friday hydrotherapy sessions – still suffering this morning with two excited boys ready for fun and games and a husband keen to decorate. Not at my best to say the least.

The biggest obstacle for me, and for many recovering from surgery, is the low moods. I’ve taken medication for it before and while it helped considerably at the time, it became just more cotton wool to wrap myself up in, rather than facing each day sober and realistic. While the last two years have passed in a haze of Tramadol, I had carried on as best I could and sacrificed exercise for speed (“I’ll just use my wheelchair”) and pain for painkillers. I know chronic pain must be managed with sufficient meds – to keep on top of the pain – but it is a fine line between aching while improving mobility and knocking yourself out . The physioterrorist’s motto – “The more you do the more you can do, while the less you do the less you’ll be able to” rings true.

I have to take control this year, and my operation – pelvic realignment with bells on – was just the beginning,. The more I do, the more I will be able to do after all– even if taking less codeine slows the pace and walking more on my crutches slows me down even more! As my dear mum has often whispered in my ear: “Remember - The Tortoise and the Hare, Kate, The Tortoise and the Hare”. I hated it as a child and I hate that story even more now. Who wants to be a tortoise?!