Jagged Little Pills: The Joys of Prescription Medication

 Since the age of 12 I’ve been taking pain medication. It is just part of life that is assessed from time to time and particularly since 2004 this has all ramped up a few notches. Either through my body becoming used to a particular dose and needing an increase, or perhaps meds started damaging internal organs, causing a myriad of issues, i've been on quite a few different regimes!

Anyone used to the drill will recognise the regular changes in meds when you’ve been on something for a while then either science realises the meds are doing you more harm than good or they stop working for you completely! I’ve been on an encyclopaedia of prescription meds - non addictive and addictive. I’ve become the Patsy of my friends as I can advise on any meds they are offered for pain ‘Yes that’s incredible darling but very addictive’ or ‘Ask for the 30/500 ones, babes, or you’ll be taking them like smarties.’

My personal experience with opioids is not necessarily other people’s experience - I only know what I know - but I share how things work for others and expect others to make an informed choice with my viewpoint being only one of several, hopefully.

Over the years, taking certain opioids and inflammatories damaged my stomach and I’m now on meds to protect my stomach lining but it did lead to conditions over and above my bone and nerve damage pain such as stomach infections and stomach ulcers. Doctors are more aware now and prescribe meds to protect the stomach alongside meds that may be damage the stomach lining! 

I’ve sat in with my consultant begging them to let me stay on certain meds as I’m afraid of withdrawal followed by weeks of awful side effects as my doses are gradually reduced down to nothing. Certain meds were stated to be worse than coming off heroin do for anyone who’s seen Trainspotting, you’ll know it’s not pretty. Night sweats, restless legs, sickness, stomach upsets, convulsions, headaches, fever, yes - the list goes on and on.

Certain meds caused me to take risks, behave impulsively, be vulnerable and put me in some awful situations with people who took advantage physically and financially. This life is not an easy one and those living with this are fighting hidden battles every day.

Anyone who takes meds regularly and requires changes to meds will recognise the periods of time needed to adjust to new meds or increased levels of meds. That too is quite a journey!

I’m used to losing a couple of weeks here or there as my body sleeps or feels woozy, my mind becomes more forgetful or my balance is thrown completely. It has become part of my life as it is for so many people with chronic health conditions. We are blessed to have NHS support in the UK and payment options, subsidised prescriptions and even delivery of the meds if you can’t get out for them, sadly lacking for much of the world.

I used to hide these changes to meds and the impact they would have on me, instead hiding away until I felt more human again! My nearest and dearest get to know now, partly to explain my absence, partly to explain my health/mobility changes and partly to help them help me if I take a turn for the worse. Gone are the days when I’d be found in a heap at the bottom of the stairs after ‘going to ground’ as one of my dear friends calls it - her way of calling me out on it and gently nudging me to accept help and be honest about my health conditions!

I’m going through a similar ‘reboot’ at the moment as a certain pain medication has stopped helping and is giving me almost continuous migraines, so I’m now trying something else - the migraines have stopped (yay!) but I’m in a fog and being knocked out for a couple of hours after taking them. In time, my body should get used to them and I look forward to that! As my lads are older teens now they are quite unfazed and know the drill - they are independent and can run things while their mother has yet another nap 😴 When they were younger, we called on Grandma or Grandpa to bring fish and chips for the boys’ tea and stay until their bedtimes, or they’d go for sleepovers with friends or stay at their dad’s. It just became part of life.

It’s so important to let a few people know about how you might have bad pain days but equally as important to inform them about medication changes in case of adverse effects. It is okay to ask for help. It took me a few years and people finding out when situations had got to breaking point. Its much better to set up your network of help before it gets to that stage. I wish I had. Think of them as part of your tool box or survival techniques as you adjust to these changes. Your honesty will make life more manageable, in the long run.