Thursday 13th January

This last week has left me feeling calmer and more coherent generally, and while the hot flushes and the afternoon knockouts remain, I realise now the fog I’ve lived in for the past two years is steadily lifting. Sheer bloody-mindedness on my part and equal measure from those supporting me has got me to this point. Giving up, as someone once said, is not an option.

After shopping yesterday, today was like wading through treacle and cleaning the bathroom and kitchen nearly reduced me to tears. Yes, I know it has that effect on most people, but the sheer amount of time and energy it takes me is not funny!!! Well, maybe a little bit.

A’s mum popped over to catch up and pick up the boys for me. Being without her husband of 45 years and complete soulmate is obviously taking its toll, but she seems to be handling it as she always has handled major life changes – she rolls up her sleeves and gets on with it. A very strong woman.

A came home with fish ‘n’ chips for his mum and the boys and once the house smelled comfortingly of salt and vinegar, A and I skipped off for a little retail therapy - twice in two weeks we've been out together. It's unheard of! I had promised him Wagamamas, and had dressed for dinner in giddy anticipation, but time was of the essence as his mum would need to be home a couple of hours later and there were bargains to be had.

With a heavy heart, I watched as he shopped, changed in to a range of bottom-hugging jeans (phew – those changing rooms get a bit hot! ;) )and rewarded my wifely support with two pairs of shoes in the Clarks 70% Sale.

Times are hard, the government’s screwed up big time, but a girl can’t grumble at red patent shoes!