This summer, my biggest challenge is to develop confidence in my powerchair and lessen my complete paranoia about having to use one along with my ridiculous fixation on the response I may get from others. I bought the thing weeks ago and apart from my big adventure to London and back, it has been out of use ever since. I'm nervous of travelling to and from places and access while I'm visiting new places - I can give myself twenty barriers to progress if I really think about it. I'm being very obstructive to my journey to freedom. But each couple of days I'm determined to go out in it with someone with me so I get over this sticky patch.
It's going quite well so far. Yesterday, I managed to tootle in my power chair up to a local deli for afternoon tea with my dear friend (who stopped me from bailing at the last minute). While a nervous wreck and powered purely by caffeine and adrenalin throughout the whole experience, I feel so much lighter today; in fact quite optimistic now I know I'm becoming independent once more. It's a huge thing adapting to using a chair - I've done it once with a manual chair and a scooter at one time, yet here I am again! But this time, using the power chair means I'm in charge a little more and less reliant on the kindness of my crew to push me about!
So yes - big day yesterday!
I'm getting up each morning to this amazing sunshine we're having at the moment and having to adapt my day a little to work round the heat so that I don't melt or crash!
I get up early and have a cuppa in the garden to connect with nature and my kitty cats, do any jobs I need to do then get on with my research and writing.
I'm currently researching from two books:
The History of Magic by Kurt Seligmann (1948) for a little background in to witchcraft and sea magic generally:
and then just this week I'm reading Mermaid Magic by Lucy Cavendish and Serene Conneeley (2011) which is giving me some real insight in to sea magic and all things mermaid.
I'd recommend both books for anyone interested in these areas.
My process at the moment is very much note-taking and planning as my original ideas for certain characters are changing. One character's motives are slightly woolly and through research I'm starting to wonder if the dark elements of sea magic may be best developed by her. I'm really exciting by this latest idea - drawn from my studying around medieval witchcraft. This character could be the pinnacle that a lot will depend on so I'm playing around with that at the moment. Writing is a little like steering a runaway train as it goes where it wants to go but you just have to try and keep it on track!
My house is steadily being filled with prompts for writing - shells, pebbles and a few sea magic instruments to help me on my way. I find that I'm quite a kinaesthetic learner at the moment and need to work with physical prompts when writing. Whether that's just meds, the heat or me I have no idea. Sea music helps too - I'm listening to a lot to oceanic Romantic music by Brahms. A trip to the seaside is also on the cards so I can get my toes in the sand and surf.
Right, I'd best get on - it would seem the blood moon and eclipse are making me very impatient for change! I needed a good shove and it's the eve of the eclipse which apparently means that powers for change are bubbling all around me!